Husband and wife can’t live together in love and harmony without accepting each other. Where acceptance is absent, there will be war, disagreement, disunity and constant complaints in the family. Therefore before you proceed into marriage settle all issues that may caused disharmony and lack of trust. Marriage can never last when unacceptable behaviours and mentality dwells. You need more than love to make your marriage work and last.
Check your present complaints about your partner and you will discover that, it is closely related to what you once admired in him or her. The difference between then and now is that you accept him or her then but this you fail to do now. This teaching will open your eyes to the things that occurs at home when the couples fail to accept each other. Unacceptability in Marriage.
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1. Constant complain: When you accept your spouse, you will not only love the strong points but you will embrace his or her weak points as well but in a situation where you fail to accept your spouse, you will have too many things to complain about in your. Therefore before you settle to marry him or her, ask yourself "Am I ready to live with him or her just like this?". If the issues are so severe and important, then don't go ahead praying that he or she will change later in marriage.
2. Comparison: This is a killer of oneness and intimacy in marriages; it can destroy any home where enough room is given to it. If you are fond of comparing your spouse with others people, you are causing more danger to your marriage. This simply means you have not accepted him or her. If she is too short for your " taste" then why go ahead to promise her marriage? If you hate the tribal marks on his face then why should you "manage" to marry him? Marry the best and love the best you found. You have no justification to marry someone you belief is far below your "taste". If the reason why you may end up cheating on her is because her breast is not your "size" then wait to find your size. If the reason why you will have office romance is because your husband doesn't have 6packs then wait till you get your 6packs.
3. Condemning: When you are fond of condemning your spouse in words and through your actions, it shows that you’ve not accepted your spouse. Condemnation leads to judgment and outright rejection, therefore stop condemning. If insults and abuses is part of your communication pattern then it's important that you get rid of it before you marry. You cannot afford to marry a husband that you will call stupid. You cannot afford to marry a wife that you will call a fool. Marriage doesn't work for those who have loosed mouths. They usually tear down their spouse and marriage with their mouths.
4. Lack of Togetherness: There is no way you can enjoy the company of someone you do not accept. If you enjoy the company of other people more than your spouse or you have his or her company. It is a pointer to the fact that you have not accepted him or her. If you want to know if both of you would be together passionately in marriage, you need to evaluate how you miss each other when you are apart. You cannot stay away from each other for a whole week without communicating and you still feel "OK". If you are OK with it then you will be OK when your spouse leave the house unannounced. If you don't miss yourselves now then something is wrong with your relationship.
5. Lack of Commitment: It simply means to be devoted or dedicated to an obligation or to a person. Commitment makes one to stick to what he or she loves. If you find it difficult to be devoted to your spouse, there is a need for you to work on yourself and improve your level of commitment. Courtship needs various forms of commitments which include time, attention, care, gift, generosity, trust, faithfulness and hope (etc). Therefore is the man or lady is not committed to you now, you can imagine how it would look like when you get married.
6. Lack of Homeliness: Being at home with somebody you don’t accept is not likely to be your best time. If you don’t always want to spend quality time at home, then you need to check your acceptability level between you your spouse. Do you enjoy each others company now or you try to "manage" it? Do you get excited when he or she is coming to visit you or go on a date? Do you have gist for each other every time? Do you get bored discussing with him or her? Check out these factors carefully.
7. Desire to change your Spouse: If you always desire that your spouse should change in almost everything he or she does, it is a good sign that you are yet to accept him or her. Couples hardly change from bad to good in marriage. Therefore be show you don't have a long list of what and what you will change in him or her once you get married. If you cannot accept the obvious now then work on it before you marry.
Understand this fact of life, that there is a need for you to accept your spouse the way he or she is for free flow of love and for deeper intimate relationship. There must be total acceptance in your union or marriage before you can enjoy your marriage. If there is any thing that may hinder the flow of love in your Union then address it now before the Union vows are made.
Queen Gesh
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