After about 30 minutes of discussion with a lady I will choose to call Franker, I had to indirectly tell her to go. Further discussion would be a more waste of my time.
She came for counseling but won't allow me to talk. She is 33 years old and have never been in a relationship beyond 6 months or so. She felt something was wrong but not with her.
I asked her series of questions about her past relationships and what led to its break up. She told me the story one after the other.
In each of the stories, I could see that she had character problem. All her previous relationships wasn't perfect (none is perfect) but rather than fix basic issues she would point all fingers of accusation on each of the guys. She had adjectives to qualify each of them. If one is not stupid, the other one is a fool.
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I asked her to pause while I told her "that was wrong, you shouldn't have spoken to him like that in front of his mother". She didn't allow me to finish my statements before she "lashed" at me..."Pst Gesh, don't tell me that. What he did was wrong and I needed to tell him straight. I can't hide my feelings."
I wasn't asking her to hide her feelings but be careful where and how you express your feelings. That is one of the hallmark of mature singles.
But should you have corrected him as if he is a kid in front of his mother? A question I decided not to ask since I have seen the kind of person I was talking to.
Every guy she dated was an enemy (of progress).
She poured her heart out but wasn't ready to be corrected.
I was asking myself silently... What does this one want now.
Do you want me to advice you or agree with you that "all men are bad and all of them are not serious about marriage?"
Perhaps what she wanted me to do was to pray for her, see a vision about a witch somewhere and ask her to give me money for special prayers so as to deal with that imaginary witch.
Alas! I'm not one of those MOG in town who does such for people.
There isn't any witch somewhere.
She is the witch of herself.
She has attitudinal problems.
Can't be corrected.
Always right.
Hot tempered.
Can't control her tongue from speaking hateful words when angry.
In the heat of one disagreement like that (in her previous relationship), she told the guy "you must be a fool".
With that statement she ended the relationship.
As she walked out of my office, I felt sorry for her because her salvation is with her. Until she see the need to have a total but also gradual change of her attitude, no right thinking man would plan to marry her. Once they see that she is a volcano, they will ditch her.
I wonder how many mature ladies are going through what Franker is going through.
They have suffered series of broken relationship but have never told themselves the truth.
They are never the cause of the break up. They belief that they are flawless.
Outside love relationship, they also don't get along with people. People always offend them. People always do what they don't like and they don't have shock absorber. Once they are offended they must "spark" not minding the outcome.
This set of persons don't have close friends either at work, school, church or neighborhood. They are on their own.
They easily find faults in what people say or do but they have failed to see anything wrong about their attitude to people.
They proudly declare that "this is who I am. I can't pretend to be someone else". But they want people to understand and tolerate them with their excesses. This is not right.
You must show yourself friendly not just to get some to marry but to live a successful life.
You can't do without people, no matter your discipline. Therefore you owe the world your friendly attitude.
The world may not be friendly to you but you mustn't pay them back by putting forth a none friendly attitude.
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Before you read something else from what am saying, let me quickly defend myself by mentioning that she is not the only one at fault for her multiple broken relationships but I'm saying that if she had a better attitude she would have responded better to her relationship challenges.
There are courtship etiquettes which must not be broken.
You can't be breaking them and still hold someone else's liable.
You have a very bad attitude and people don't like you...period.
You don't want to be corrected yet you want to marry.
Ma'am, I know that they have talked you into going for spiritual deliverance. That's good. But without character deliverance the spiritual deliverance is a waste.
Anointing can get you a spouse to marry but character would be needed to keep the spouse married to you happily.
Yes, I know that you want to get married but there is something better than getting married.
Getting married can be your goal now but staying married is good. Staying married can be someone else's goal but it is better to stay happily married.
So many are staying married today but they are not happily married.
Why? They have "suddenly" realize that they got married to someone that has chronic character flaws.
Before you enter into a "trapped" marriage please work on those obvious character flaws.
Character flaws is not exclusive to a gender.
*Pst Gesh*
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